If I had an Inch for Every Penis-Enlargement Spam...

The Story So Far:

Counting started: Wed Apr 26 08:40:44 2000
Latest elongation: Thu Jul 29 02:43:42 2010
Penis-enlargement spam count: 206
Total length: 17.646 feet/5.378 meters
Mean rate of Growth: 0.055 inches/0.140 cm per day

   
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Photo shamelessly stolen from Usenet and jiggled with a bit in gimp. Original photo had a background and a face with an extremely goofy expression. A takeoff on this page appeared in Joseph Cohen's The Penis Book, only with the goofy expression intact.

This page gets a disconcerting amount of traffic from folks hitting search engines seemingly looking for actual penis enlargement products/techniques. Look, guys -- these things don't work. They're snake oil, exploiting men's sense of sexual vulnerability. If buying something will make you feel better about yourself, you can buy them from Amazon. Your cock will be unaffected, but at least you won't get your credit card stolen in the process. Really, most women don't care very much -- they'd rather have a loving, tender partner than one with a big penis. Master the loving & tender part first. Then if your lover specifically wants a large phallus, help her buy one.

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